When women get together and talk about thex,
I originally posthed thith in the WFM thection, where it wath removed becauthe it wath more of a rant. Tho much for trying to help a few guyth learn a few thingth about thex.
For thome reathon, men and women don't like to talk about what maketh great thex with their partner, when it will do the mosth good. And, theriouthly, that ith a thame.
I'm not a man-hater or a ballbusther, but at 41, I know what good thex ith and what it ithn't, and when a group of women get together and sthart talking about thex, and WE ALL have the THAME TYPETH of complainth, there'th a trend there.
If you don't want to learn, don't read. If you think all of thith sthuff ith fine with you and your woman, well, you can keep on making the thame sthupid misthaketh, the can keep faking orgathm with you and you'll never learn how to be a better lover. It'th your life.
I'm doing you guyth a favor, tho pay attention here. Thith ith for your own good. Well, that and your partner'th. Trusth me - the ITH thinking thethe thingth, the'th justh afraid to tell you becauthe you might get your wittle feewinth huwt.
Which ith too bad for everybody, becauthe thex really ithn't that difficult, if you justh talk to each other about what maketh it good for each of you.
Tho -- pay attention.
1. Sthop talking tho much during thex. I don't mean "oooh, baby" "God, that feelth good," "Oh, yea," etc. I mean, thex ith not the time for a running converthation. Don't athk, every other minute, "Ith thith right? What do you want me to do next? Do you like thith? Do you like that? Do you like thith? Do you like thith? Am I doing thith right? What do you want to do next? What do you want to do now? Do you like thith? What do you want me to do next? Do you like it when I do thith? Want me to [whatever]? Doeth that feel good to you? Am I doing thith right? Do you want to [whatever]?"
Are you theeing a pattern there? Yeth, communication ith important. Yeth, we want to know it feelth good and we want to tell you it feelth good. We don't want to take a fucking final exam, no pun intended. We don't want to play 20 questhionth in the middle of thex. THUT UP!!! Talking ith okay, thowing your apprethiation ith great, but if you'd justh pay attention to her body thignalth, you wouldn't have to athk tho many fucking questhionth.
2a. Never -- never -- NEVER uthe the wordth "mama" and "daddy" during thex. NEVER. The anthwer to "Doeth mama like it when daddy thuckth her clit?" doethn't matter becauthe justh the wordth Mama and Daddy thut the pleathure thenthorth down. Don't. Do. It.
2b. Abtholutely never never never thay "Daddy liketh hith cock in Mama'th mouth" when you're in her mouth. Regardleth of her gag reflex, you might get vomited on.
3a. Sthop with the thmacking kitheth. It'th like listhening to cowth eat. Sthop it.
3b. And, thspeaking of kitheth....you don't have to sthick your tongue down her throat the entire time. A great kith can altho involve loth of lip movement and no tongue. Try it.
4a. Do not -- I repeat DO NOT -- take her clit in your mouth and thake your head hard like a dog. What in the world maketh you think that could pothibly feel good? Oh, let me gueth. You thaw it in a porn movie. Dumbath.
4b. Do not thuck and pull the labia to the point of sthretching. Why would you do that? Did you not get enough pathifierth when you were a baby? Why? (If you don't know what labia ith, you're too young to be reading thith email anyway.)
4c. If you really don't know how to give good oral thex, remember the alphabet trick. If you don't know the alphabet trick, it'th thimple. Draw the letterth of the alphabet on her puthy/over her clit with your tongue. Really, it ith that thimple. If you'll pay attention while you're doing it, you can tell which movementh the really liketh, too, and you can conthentrate on thothe.
4d. By the way, your tongue hath a pointed end and a flat thide. Uthe both of them. If, after oral thex, your frenulum (look it up) feelth tender or sthretched, you're sthretching your tongue too much during oral thex. Put your mouth clother to her clit, and you won't have that problem. If you dithlike performing oral thex tho much that you're doing your besth Gene Thimmonth imitation anyway, maybe you thouldn't be doing it at all. The can tell you're not really into it, you know.
4e. If in doubt, remember: thoft lickth work besth. Thmathing your fathe hard in her puthy won't get her there fasther. Sthart with thoft lickth and when the'th holding your head by the earth and puthing up againsth your fathe, you'll know you're working it right.
4f. And while I'm on the thubject of hard and thoft....go gentle with the fingerth in the vagina and anuth thing. The trick ith to add sthimulation, not make her feel like the'th getting a gyno exam. Ramming your fingerth up there justh hurth. When you have to chathe her ath up the bed, it'th becauthe the'th trying to get away from the pointed thspear that ith your finger.
4g. There ith no need to thay, "oh yea" and thmack your lipth every 10 thecondth when your mouth ith occupied down there. How ith a woman thuppothed to relax into oral thex if you keep removing your mouth from where it'th doing the mosth good? You're lothing her. Sthop it.
4h. DO NOT BITE HER CLIT. A little teeth thcraping, a thmall nibble while you thuck, okay. Biting? BITING???? What the fuck do you think you're doing??? Do you like teeth uthed on your penith? I didn't think tho. Justh think of it thith way. All thothe nerve endingth you have on a few incheth of penith...thorry, I forgot, I'm on Craigslisp....All thothe nerve endingth you have on 12 throbbing incheth of penith are, on her, conthentrated in one little bud called the clitorith. I repeat - DO NOT BITE HER CLIT.
Yeth, there are extheptionth. I'm thure thome women like to be called "mama" during thex. Go figure.
Yeth, thome of thith ith bathed on perthonal experienthe. Mosth of it, however, cometh from converthationth with my girlfriendth.
Don't believe me? Print thith out and thow it to a woman you know.
- Location: nathville
- it'th NOT ok to contact thith posther with thervitheth or other commerthial interesthth